New bit I’m working on based on a true story last night.
I met a girl recently at a bar. She looked really young. So I went up and joked with her like “Hey are you old enough to be in here? ha ha ha” She’s like “Yeah. I’m 30.” I was taken aback. “Wow, I would have never guessed that, you look really young.” she deadpans a response back “Yeah. I guess Prison preserves.” I’m like “What?” she goes “Yeah. I did 12 years for 2nd degree murder and robbery.” I kinda laughed. I thought she was trying to impress me or something. So I call her bluff, I’m like “Yeah right.” She pulls out her prison ID card. OK. You win. She looks at me “Don’t tell anyone though.” I’m like “Yeah. We’re good. You don’t have to worry about that. I don’t want to get murdered. Not even in the 2nd degree.” I just hope she doesn’t come to any of my shows because for some reason I’m telling all of you. So all of you keep your mouth shut. You are all accessories now.
I know I promised an explanation on the tits in the last picture. I only feel up for writing one new bit per day right now. I’ll get back to that later.
Wondering how legit the prison card was. I googled it. It did look pretty much like this. Scary.