Osama Bin Laden Nagged to Death

Unless you’re living under a rock (like Osama Bin Laden wasn’t! see what I did there? ha!) You may have heard that Osama Bin Laden was killed yesterday First off. What a badass story. It makes me feel proud to be a 3rd prestige on Call of Duty Black Ops right now. The weird thing to me was that they say Osama never stayed in the same location for more than 3 days. but he’d been living with his wife and kids for over 8 months at this place. What’s with the change? I have a theory. Terrible one. but a theory. The downfall of the greatest terrorist of all time wasn’t money or drugs. Or clicking yes to an itunes update without reading it. It was a woman. Osama was out on the road all the time and she couldn’t handle it. At first she thought the idea of dating a terrorist was hot and sexy. But then she got annoyed. Why don’t we spend more time. I feel like you love world domination more than you love me! Osama of all people should’ve known better. Isn’t that why he has 19 wives in the first place? Doesn’t anybody pay attention? Women are dream killers. Every superman movie starts with lois lane tied up under a bridge somewhere. Every die hard movie. Every crappy nick cage action flick. A woman was the start of the problem. Osama was spending too much time in one place and got caught. Bitches will trip ya up man. I bet the bullets didn’t even kill him. She probably nagged him to death. He was probably annoyed and called the CIA himself! “Hello? I’m over here. Can you take me away from this bitch? I’m tired of hearing about insurance premiums.”

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