My Friend is a Porn Star

(I stole this picture from her facebook. She’s on top.)

I just found out one of my girl friends is a porn star. Which is interesting, she’s not really a friend. She’s just some girl I was trying to sleep with a few years ago, but somehow ended up in the friend zone. I was the guy that bought her beer because she wasn’t 21 yet. Yeah. Go me. Couldn’t get laid by a drunk wanna be porn star. My first reaction was “look, you can’t call yourself a star if all your videos are made with a cell phone camera.” But she’s actually a real porn star. Lives in Vegas. I started thinking about it. I felt a little guilty. Like what if I’m responsible. I contributed to the delinquency of a minor. If this is my fault. I feel like… She owes me. You’re nothing without me! I MADE YOU! but I started to calm down the more I thought about it. Because there were clues. Looking back, whenever I bought her alcohol, she always ended up sleeping with other people, but she let me watch. Which. Nothing has really changed now that I purchased a membership.

Jokes aside, the real story is I was sleeping with her friend and they would call me and give me money to buy them alcohol. I actually hoped to pull of a threesome at one point but I was such a pussy back then, and I had no game what so ever. I was also trying to not drink all the time. I was starting to go through the phase where I had drank way too much for a short period of time. (probably legally over a year or two -compared to many people who abuse alcohol for years and years before they decide to stop.) So I was trying to not associate with people that were entering or still in their whole “drunk is fun – let’s hit the club” phase because I was trying to get away from it. But “Turns out I’m not good at winning arguments when there is sex involved” (c) Gabriel Rutledge.

But I was looking back on myspace and looking at old messages for fun and saw her profile and I was like wow. That’s a hell of a picture. Just my luck the girl I slept with went on to have a kid (with another guy) and the one I didn’t became a famous porn star. I wonder what makes you want to be a porn star. Like – I’m pretty sure it wasn’t my fault. lol. I didn’t give her a bad experience sexually to be like “I need professional help.”

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