Do You Have an Agent?

This is a questions I get asked all the time. My answer:

Does my mom count?

I love my parents, but they’re driving me a little crazy. That could be true for most weeks actually. They wonder why I don’t call them more often. lol.

I’ve been traveling as a comedian on the road and doing shows consistently for the last 2 years. But this is the longest trip I’ve been on. 5 weekends of shows. Total time probably 6 weeks from the day I left home, to the day I get home. They’ve known about the trip for a while, and they started freaking out about a week leading up to the trip. Which is when I was finally ready. I did all my freaking out in December. I stopped by my moms house on the way out, she packed enough food and water and soda for my trunk for the entire 6 week trip. I now get 6 Miles to the gallon.

My Trip includes a stop in Indianapolis at Morty’s Comedy Club. Bob & Tom are super famous radio guys (even more famous than my dad) who are very kind to comedians and comedians who can get on their show can make a name for themselves in the areas where the show is heard. Also, it’s always nice to try and promote your club anyway you can. Any way you can help out makes you useful and wonderful and another reason to have you back. Let’s face it, there’s plenty of funny comedians. Set yourself apart. When I first mentioned this to my dad (Months ago) and told him I can take more money, but no hotel included or less money with a nice hotel. HE suggested that he should get me on Bob & Tom and find someone to harbor me for the weekend. I didn’t bring it up again until recently.

I called my dad and asked if he could get me on Bob & Tom. Then he turned it into a big radiothon. Now he’s getting carried away, being so proud and so scared at the same time. He’s having a “He’s a real boy” moment ala Pinocchio and doing everything he thinks he can in his power including calling a DJ in Baltimore to get me on shows out there, but I don’t have room for that in my schedule this time around. The connection could help down the road, so I’m thankful for it, but relax people. Let me take tell you how to best help me at this minute. Like get me on Bob & Tom. lol.

My mom is a whole other animal. She has no idea what anything I do involves. Every state I go to on this trip she’s emailing me with the names of all the clubs in the area. I’m like I know where they are already, they just don’t let me do a show there. I don’t need any help getting rejected. It’s like an OKCupid account I never signed up for. Maybe you should email them 7 times and I could get some shows set up. They’ll be like “alright, enough with the annoying emails, he can do a show here. Go away now.” That’s how I plan on setting up my next trip. In April I’ve got Portland, Alberta, and likely adding Minneapolis. Who knows where I’ll go from there yet. I’ve got a few months to set it up once I get home from this damn trip. It’s very hard to work inbetween stealing wifi from mcdonalds while you’re sleeping in your car. I still wouldn’t have it any other way. Who else’s parents give them so much material because they love them too much? Not many comedians I know.

That’s one of the things I’m still working on when I talk about them. They’re trying to help. I think the audiences know that and look at me like “Yeah thats funny, but still you’re complaining about your parents loving you too much. Get over it. Go back to dick jokes.” so those jokes don’t always get as strong of a reaction as I would like. Oh well. Anyway. I’m off to Minneapolis now. I’m in a McDonalds in Madison, Wisconsin. I was staying at a friends house in Chicago but there’s a huge snowstorm coming in. My friend and mentor comedian Susan Jones advised before I could finish asking if I should leave a day early: “ALWAYS leave a day early if you can. It’s never worth the risk of getting stuck somewhere.” Maybe this package of food in the trunk will come in handy after all. Thanks Mom. <3

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