F*#k Me Pumps

I know I normally keep it family friendly on here but I couldn’t avoid this topic, and there’s no way to clean it up because saying “eff me pumps” would be really lame. So if you’re offended by dirty words, then stop typing them into google.

CJ’s blog has finally jumped the shark. He’s now covering fashion advice. Although it did inspire this bit that I may never work with on stage. I tend to avoid swearing on stage. (Unless I’m in Montana. Then- fuck it.). Maybe I’ll give it to a friend. or maybe I’ll just keep it. Whatever.

I’ve been hearing women use the phrase “fuck me pumps” or “fuck me boots” lately. “These are my heels I wear when I want some action.” It’s cute, but naming your clothing is strictly a woman thing. You never hear a guy talking about his fuck me shoes. Because it would be every pair of shoes. “Aww yeah.. These are my fuck me sweatpants. I’m gonna get me some.” Men never stop trying to get laid. “Dude I think that waitress wants me. Good thing I ordered my ‘Fuck me Pancakes.'” I imagine a real writing session with some friends could turn out a list of hilarious “Fuck Me” items for men. I’m on my way to a show, so I’ll update this later when I get some more ideas and since I’m in Montana. I’m gonna try the damn joke.

I got to the bottom of the situation. Blame the phrase on Amy Winehouse:

I know she didn’t invent the term and surprisingly the song (is actually good and) is supposed to be an anti-fuck me pump message but her (writer’s) best intentions seem to have given the term the pop culture nod it needed to approve every day usage. Just like their VAGINAS. BOOM. On fire. Mark that one down. Hilarious.

Also important to point out. Clear Heels > Fuck Me Pumps.

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