God Bless America

For some reason Bank of America canceled my debit and credit cards the other day. No warning. No heads up. I had to find out be having my card declined at Subway. I was like “Wow. I know I’m broke, but I’m pretty sure I have $7.50” – How come if I inconvenience a bank by 7 to 10 business days. It’s a $35 fee. but if they inconvenience me, it’s because they value my business? So I’m at subway and the cute girl behind the counter thinks I can’t afford a sandwich. So I went to the bank and withdrew a $100 bill and paid for my sandwich, just to prove I was a capable provider.

That’s another thing. A hot girl at Subway really threw me off. I’ve got this really bitter and naive idea that cute girls probably never work a day in their life. So I’m like why would this cute girl ever work at Subway? Don’t let pride and work ethic get in the way of an easy path through life. I have a really hot friend who joined the air force to be an engineer. Which makes no sense. God gave you all the tools you need to be a great stripper. I know you want to serve your country, but lets compromise. How about a sexy air force costume while you’re stripping? The air force is dangerous. You might go to war, get shot down in your plane and get taken hostage. Stripping is also dangerous, but at least you have the key to the handcuffs at the end of the night.

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