A Weekend in Medford

I did a show in Medford, Oregon last weekend. It’s a nice enough club. Sometimes I do really well, sometimes the crowd is drunk and annoying. This last weekend was the latter. but I decided to try to not let it bother me and just ride the wave. It was a room that I was comfortable in, my reputation was in good standing,

There was a guest comedian, he was a pilot who must have just been stopping in town. He was probably new, he struggled a little bit. That usually gets the audience antsy too, because they just sat through a comedian they didn’t like, now they’re starting to regret spending money, they have this feeling like “OK this next guy better be funny.” with their arms crossed. Which isn’t a good way to prepare to receive comedy. If you want to hate a comedian, you’ll find a reason.

I get up there, I’m doing ok, but it’s hard to tell, there’s a room off to the side with TV’s. It’s Saturday night college football. So people are yelling and cheering, oblivious to a comedy show, literally 50 feet away. Finally, a joke gets nothing. I made a comment about the joke not doing well. They didn’t laugh at me making fun of myself, so I thought maybe they did laugh and I couldn’t hear. So I said, “maybe you did, it’s loud, I couldn’t hear.” and a woman at a table goes “No, you were right, we didn’t laugh.” I said “oh. Thanks for clearing that up.” a few minutes later I’m doing a couple other jokes, another punchline falls flat. I look over and she’s chatting with her friends. “NO WONDER YOU’RE NOT LAUGHING. YOU’RE NOT FUCKING PAYING ATTENTION.” – The rest of the crowd laughs. I get her attention. But now everyone thinks it’s ok to talk because in their mind, they’re laughing when I react to them, more than my jokes. I keep messing around with different crowd members. A round of shots comes up for the annoying table. I’m like “REALLY? Shots? That’s a fantastic idea. Let’s get MORE hammered.”
By the way. I have nowhere for this specific joke in any blog post but I had a hilarious tweet. I think there should be more songs promoting safer drinking habits. “SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS UNLESS YOUR DRIIIIVINNNNGGG.”

Anyway, so now everyone thinks its fun to mess with me. Which is a downside to getting laughs when people heckle at you and I sincerely just want to go back to cleverly written dick jokes. So a woman goes “You and that other comic are a lot alike!” I said “Why because we’re both eating shit right now?” Big laughs from the crowd. “By the way, for a Pilot, you think he would pull out of that tailspin a little better.” huge laughs.

Later in the show a woman, for some reason, goes “Take your shirt off!” Which was weird because she was with a guy. and he was black. So, I guess you can go back.

The comic I was working with was a Mormon which was fascinating because I didn’t know they were allowed to have jokes.

Mormons ar first seem crazy. No casual sex, no alcohol, no caffeine, but the more I look at ti, those are all things that I’d arguably be better off without anyway.

The more I read about how to be healthy. That’s a weird sentence, I’m not quite committed to being healthy yet, I’m thinking about it. Healthy and I have hooked up a few times.

But the more you try to wonder what’s ok to eat and what isn’t. Ive realized. Anything that tastes good or feels good to do, is bad for you. I’ve been drinking Red Bull a lot lately because I’m driving and because the backseat of my car is not tempurpedic and I don’t always get a good night sleep. A can of redbull can’t be that great for you.

And even in the other sense of the word. Mentally healthy is important. Lots of studies show that excessive pornography is not good for you. Because if you teach a man to fish, he’ll be set for life, right? But if a man has an endless supply of fish available on his laptop at anytime he wants. When he goes to the bar to pick up a fish. He’s not going to have a good time.

Alcohol is the only one that I think I would struggle with giving up completely because I’m a much more confident fisherman when I drink.

 

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