Out of Love
Well. I’ve enjoyed getting personal with thoughts and feelings on here. No reason to stop now. If you’ve been following. I liked a girl. I thought she was the one. I decided I was going to propose. I went into the engagement ring store. They said the rule is that it has to cost 2 to 3 months salary. I’m a comedian. So I bought a ring pop. I remember when I proposed. I got down on one knee and I said “Will you suck me for the rest of my life?” Ok so that part is fake. The real story is that we were supposed to hang out on Valentines day and I was going to propose with a ring pop as a joke. I know she’s not going to sleep with me for a ringpop. That’s what the four loko was for. But she kept blowing me off. and not even in the good way. Then one night. I got a little tipsy. I text her and told her that I loved her. Which was a mistake but I told it to her sober before and she said it back one time. So I thought we were good. She didn’t write me back for a couple of days and when she actually did. She said “Hey. Just checking in. Hope all’s well. That’s all.” Which made my day. Because I was in Idaho. and I was in a bad mood. Because I was in Idaho. but then it hit me later and I realized I just poured my heart out and she hit me with “how bout them yankees? Yeah. Let’s not talk about our feelings.” So. She hasn’t talked to me for about a month now. but it’s all good. I’m a comedian. Turning tragedy into comedy is what I do. So I felt good as soon as I did these jokes and everyone laughed at them. and really. It works out better this way. I get some new jokes and I don’t have to re write my entire act to incorporate a girlfriend. I’m not bitter. I’m not mad or sad. I just wish that we could move past the passive aggressive ignore phase. I’m a man. You got a problem. Come say something. Then we chest bump and get over it.
Anyway. Now I gotta figure out what to do with all these damn ring pops I ordered. I think I have an idea. 🙂