Kickerstarter

Today my dad said he expects me to out earn him in salary one day. So I’d like to announce my new kickstarter campaign to finally make my dad proud of me. Hurry up and donate. I’ve got to raise a couple million dollars by next week. He says that if I keep telling myself I’m not going to be the most famous comedian in the world, than I’ll be limiting myself mentally and subconsciously. I need to be confident. I think he’s been talking to Kyle Cease a little too much.

Look, I didn’t get as far as I have by not being overconfident in my abilities. The only thing I’m 100% confident in is that Rivers don’t have self esteem issues (well, after a certain age.) The first time Susan hired me to do 30 minutes on the road with her. She saw me do 22 minutes and I said I’ll have the rest in a week. Next week we went out and  the first night I did 28 minutes I think. The next night I did 31. and night 3 I did 30 again. If you compare that to what I’m doing now. Sure, there’s no way I had 30 minutes and I hope I can say the same thing in a year or two about what I’m doing now. I’m super confident, and slightly arrogant. but I’m also realistic. Like I know no matter how hard I work, I’ll never play in the NBA, but only because I’m white. Does that make sense? There’s a guy who got released from jail after the girl he had supposedly “raped” decided to admit she made it all up like 8 years later. He was a high school football star heavily recruited before he went to jail. He’s now 26 years old and just tried out for the Seahawks. Anything IS possible. The likelihood he makes the team? Probably negative 10 percent. Does that mean he shouldn’t bother trying out? No. While you’ve got an audition and when you’re in the moment give it your best shot, but realize what’s going on.

That’s how I take this. Don’t get me wrong, I’m busting my ass and I believe I may get a little further than your average comic (if only because of heavy connections to the industry through friends and family, but hey take it however you get it.) but to say I’m going to outEARN my dad and brother who are buying houses while I struggle to make a $450 a month rent payment. Sorry I don’t jump up and go BY GOLLY YOURE RIGHT! IM HOLDING MYSELF BACK! I’m on the verge of starting a kickstarter campaign just to pay my rent. Besides, some of the guys that I look up to don’t make more than 40-50k. Everyone’s situation is different, but I can’t say I’d consider myself a failure if I plateau at that. 99% of people who go to open mic never get one paycheck.

Maybe one day I’ll have my own street named after me. But I’m not black or good at baseball. So chances are slim. 🙂

My dad also said that he thinks I’m depressed but I would never admit it. I’ve got to be careful. I don’t know if he just says that for the radio and doesn’t mean it, or uses the radio as his cop out when I get ticked off that people think I’m depressed. I don’t know how to explain it. It’s not depression. It’s just most of the time’s he sees me, it’s being worn down or tired. The frustrations of trying to explain things in the comedy business that you have to really be in to understand. I guess that’s a whole other blog someday.

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