Sometimes you have good dreams. Sometimes you have bad dreams. Sometimes you have weird dreams.
A girl once told me she had a dream we were hanging out and she took a shower and I didn’t even try to grab her boobs. She seemed upset about it too. I was like let me grab your boobs in real life to make up for it. Didn’t quite work.
The other night I had a dream that my girlfriend (who is imaginary still) was jealous that I was going to do a show in LA with a girl who looked similar to her. [Boring Details: The gig was barely enough money for me to travel, so I basically had to stay at the girl from LA’s house. The girlfriend was worried since she looked similar I would sleep with her. Onward.] I was trying to explain to her that just because she looks similar it doesn’t mean I’m going to cheat because “It’s not your outside that I’m attracted to.” *Nuclear Explosion* NOOOOOO
Why would I do that? I was trying to explain that the reason she’s special is because of who she is on the inside and that can never be duplicated. Which would have been a perfectly “awww blowjob time” comment. but nope. I decided that in my dream. I’m an idiot. ITS MY DREAM. I could have imagined anything. I could have imagined me punching the other girl in the face. I could have imagined punching my imaginary girlfriend in the face and getting in a limo full of strippers. Now look, it’s just a dream, I would never do that in real life. Maybe with my left hand, cuz I’m a nice guy (callback). I should have imagined an inner monologue. That would have been nice.