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Mating Rituals – Typing it out.

I wanted to do a blog on a creative writing session. I had this idea of guys doing stupid things to impress women. Compare it to animals doing stupid shit. Tie it in with stupid things I’ve done. – I’ve also been working on a joke about LULU (see previous blogs) and one part is a rant I go on for [...]
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LuLu is DooDoo

I discovered this app for your phone called Lu Lu. What it does is allows women to leave a review on a man. Like he was a movie. Or yelp, for humans. Basically. I tried to log in to see what they said about me but it turns out only women can see it. And I already tried making a different Facebook [...]
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My Dad Says I Don’t Work Very Hard

Look at all these comedy clubs, bars, pizza restaurants, casinos, state fairs and moose lodges I’ve performed in. Good thing every one of them found one of my videos and thought I was hilarious. (sarcasm) 31 states? There’s no star in New Orleans yet because the comedy club has not sent me their [...]

The New TV

I got a new tv recently. My friend bought a new 60 inch TV, and so I traded him my OLD tv PLUS sexual favors for HIS old TV. because his wife probably wasn’t going to sleep with him for a while, because he just bought a new 60 inch TV. I was excited that I got a new tv, and I bragged to my facebook [...]
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Do the Right Thing!

My friend Sarah got asked out on a date by a Seahawks player but she said no. It reminded me of the time I got asked out by the most popular girl in school in 7th grade and I said no because she had never said a word to me before that. Now, long story short: I never became a cool kid and she [...]

A Long Stupid Post About Emotions That Isn’t Very Funny

I started to write this on facebook, but whatever. I usually try to be funny on there, and here sometimes too, but nobody reads this stuff so what does it matter. Sometimes I just want to be serious and talk about my emotions. Comedians are people too. Kind of. I had this “moment” before I left for [...]
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HOW COLD IS IT?

Dear Canada, your Sun is broken. I’m on my first (LAST?) winter tour of Canada. My friend is a Canada Tour Veteran and has several jokes about how when you walk outside it feels like you owe the weather money. I laughed but now I’m getting to experience it. I’ve driven through mini blizzards. It [...]

A Long Sappy Post

The last 3 weeks, I’ve been told I’m going to be promoted to headliner. Let’s just celebrate the fact that all this driving, neck pain, nightmares and lonely nights are paying off. Just not financially. Yet. They say you shouldn’t be self deprecating as a headliner, but they also say you should [...]
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A weekend in Arizona & New Mexico + Some Deep Thoughts

Back to this style post. A couple fun thoughts and facebook status you missed. Too lazy / busy to write a real blog. Things are going well. That’s all. This week I was in New Mexico and Arizona. Arizona was for my friends wedding. New Mexico was just adding on to the trip. I did a show at a casino [...]
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Doin 55 in a 54

I’ve been on the road for over a month now and been pulled over twice. I got a speeding ticket, like an idiot at 2 in the morning in Kentucky. I probably would’ve gotten a warning if I had my papers in order but somehow I misplaced my insurance info, which I specifically checked for when I left on [...]
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