My friend Adam and I were talking. He’s driving across the country to Iowa to do a showcase for colleges and we were writing together. He had a joke idea and he wanted me to do it at open mic because he was driving. Adam’s joke was “I’m 25 and I’m not as political as I’d like to be. It’s hard to care about ‘Occupy Wall Street’, when I still ‘Occupy My Parents Basement.’ My Parents want me to move out. I keep trying to tell them. I’m waiting to meet that special someone. So she can invite me to live with her… At her parents house.” Now that’s a brilliant joke (and it worked at open mic.) but I kept thinking “what if there’s a cute girl in the audience. She’s going to think I live with my parents.” lol.
Then the more I thought about it, I realized… I probably should live with my parents. I’m not exactly self sufficient. CPS takes away your kids if you’re a bad parent. but don’t you think they should give you back to them if you’re a bad adult? I mean, I don’t live with my parents but I probably should. 6 inches of snow in Seattle, freaks everyone out. I don’t really care, until Mcdonalds closes. Thats when it’s time to declare national emergency. I can’t cook. I need a girlfriend for that reason mostly. Sex would be nice but breakfast would be better.
I went into McDonalds the other day and the cute girl behind the counter was like “Can I get a name to yell out?” I was like … yes you can… how about Daddy?