Hooray Titties

It’s my birthday today. I’m getting sentimental. (it’s actually now published 2 days after my birthday but I started the blog on my birthday. Then it took forever. Then we went so I figured I’d add more to the crazy story.)

About 3 or 4 years ago, I got punched in the face on my birthday. I decided I needed to make some better life decisions and started working really really hard at comedy. If that was a good decision or not is still up for debate but I definitely stopped drinking like I used to (mostly because I can’t afford it and bitches don’t like it when you spray them with sprite. Or when you call them bitches. Just guessing on that part.) This weekend I’m in Edmonton with my best friend Adam Norwest. He said “let’s go to a strip club for your birthday.” I googled “Edmonton strip club” and the #5 result was a story about two guys in their 20’s getting shot outside of a strip club in Edmonton. So much for better life decisions. TITTIES

We ended up going to the strip club and saving most of the money. It was a great time. We met another comic on the show Jordan Chyzowski (sp?) who was freaking hilarious. We convinced him to come to the strip club with us. We’re walking up and he goes “Yo, we might get in free. I know a guy who works here.” we’re like oh cool. He goes up to the bouncer “is rodney working?” the bouncer looked at him like he was an idiot and says no. We walked in and he admitted “I don’t actually know anybody here”. Then the bouncer brought some 70 year old guy over who works there and was like “Did you mean Randy?” and he was like “No I was thinking of a different guy I think.” but Randy totally remembered him apparently and bought us all a round of shots.

Then Adam convinced all the strippers he was a race car driver and my dad owned the team. I was trying so hard to just not laugh as him and Jordan riffed back and forth about the race team and telling crazy stories. I need improv training to hang with this kid sometimes. The funniest thing is, Adam has never gone over the speed limit in his life. He would be the worst race car driver in the world. We didn’t get any free dances as a result. We didn’t pay for any dances though. Mostly just bullshitted. had a couple free drinks and enjoyed the view. The bouncer introduced us to his manager Aaron and said next time ask for him and he’ll “hook us up” whatever that means.

 

Anyway, if you’re ever in Edmonton go tell the bouncer that you’re one of the comedians from forever ago (or race car driver) and Aaron is supposed to show you a good time. It can’t really go wrong.

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