Beggars vs Choosers
Apologies for the lack of posts. I’ve been traveling. A LOT. I had a pretty funny thought today but it was a little too personal for facebook. So I thought I’d put it where nobody would find it. MY WEBSITE 🙂
Today while sitting in a hotel in Idaho. I realized. I’m a lot more selective with my porn than I am with women in real life that I’ve actually slept with. Now. Obviously I’ve got a lot more options on the internet, but still. I can’t get AIDS from the internet. You would think I’d be more careful when there are actual consequences involved.
My love life lately has been tough. It’s hard to meet someone when all your time is spent in the same places or out of town. No offense to the town (actually, lots of offense) but Idaho Falls isn’t exactly the place I think I’ll meet the one. That leaves people who I’ve known for a while. I had a pretty good feeling about a girl lately but that seems to have changed.
Now the truth is, we had a little history. A couple years ago we would hang out a lot and had some chemistry. We had spent multiple nights messing around but never all the way. One night we were mostly naked and she stopped kissing me and said “Do you know why I haven’t had sex with you yet?” I was like “I hadn’t really thought about it.” It’s not exactly out of the ordinary. Women don’t sleep with me all the time. If you said let’s have sex. Then I would start asking some questions, like “who put you up to this?” or “How much do I owe you?” She goes “The reason I haven’t slept with you yet, is that I didn’t want you to tell your roommates.”
I was like “you’re coming over to my house after a night of drinking and leaving at 7am for work with your hair messed up. I think they’re gonna catch on eventually.” “Hey, Andrew. How’d things with that chick last night go? Saw her leave early. You must have had a great conversation all night.” They probably already think we’re doing it.
Anyway. She ended up getting mad and not sleeping with me. When keeping it real goes wrong. (c) Chappelles Show.
Now I used to be a little whorey in the past. and it’s made for some great stories. Now though, after my STD test coming back clean. I feel like I’ve got another shot at life. I feel like I should be more selective. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I’ve got options once in a while. but let’s face it. I’m going places. I can’t just settle for anybody. That’s why all those Celebrity marriages fail. One of them is the star. The other is the backup dancer. I need a girl with a career path, a passion. People say you grow up to marry your own mother. I’d like to date myself.