65723_10152529558385058_647379094_nThis is the blog I would have written leading up to Oklahoma, if I weren’t driving and sick.

And it’s not a proper blog post without making fun of my mom a little bit. My parents live right off I-90, so I stay with them and can wake up early and knock about an hour off my travel time than if I were to leave from my house. Plus my mom packs me a nice goodie bag of essential things for the road. Like Homemade honey, Orange Slices and $37 worth of pennies and Nickels. Which weighs about 35 pounds and knocks about $50 in extra gas costs to my trip. So, that’s great. Now, she’s a sweet lady and I made fun of her for packing me stuff I don’t need but don’t get it twisted because I packed some running shoes myself. I cashed in the coins already, I still haven’t gone running yet. but I totally will maybe.

Anyway, this club in OKC is great. Every show has been packed so far. The only downside is the whole smoking indoors thing. We are spoiled in the Northwest with our pristine atmosphere and stay 15 feet away from the doors with your cancer causing sticks while we drink our cancer causing liquids. I bet that has caused a huge downturn in smoking. Because in Oklahoma, the 8pm shows on friday and saturday are non smoking, but the 10:30 shows. Wow. The whole front row is chain smoking. I couldn’t take big breaths on stage because I had a cold and cough already but breathing in more smokey air just made cough. It was ridiculous. Going outside and then walking in the building, it would hit you like a wave. It was unlike any other experience.71494_10152536293330058_67321406_n

The part I love about traveling is these experiences. I don’t love the cigarettes in my face, but I love that I get to experience it. The tornado sirens, the bad pay. It’s all wonderful when you step back. I grew up so sheltered. I traveled, but not like this. We went to Aruba and the Grand Caymen Islands. Which were both kind of dumpy in their own right but still. I’d been to every Hawaiian Island. Not that I’m petitioning my dad to take the family vacation in Arkansas next year, but this is “the 47%”, this is Middle America. When you grow up sheltered you just have an idea of what the South is like. Hillbillies, Country Music and Trucks. That can’t possibly be 100% true.

But sometimes, things happen exactly how you would think it would. I pulled into a gas station, a 400 pound man in jean overalls was spitting sunflower seeds on the ground while petting his dog in the back of his pickup truck. The gas station speakers are playing country music and there’s a few dogs running around the parking lot for no apparent reason. I walked into the gas station and they were selling testicle keychains. Yup. Quit hating the south.

 

By the way, hopefully I’ll get into this in another blog sometime, I’d like to make a joke about it. I’ve gotta watch the video and see if it turned out funny. but I made fun of Texas a little bit during the show and it got a huge reaction. I thought it was funny. I kinda said “You guys are like one state away, is it really that much different? come on.” and they got mad! lol. Then, I posted the joke about the water from the previous post on facebook and people from the shows commented “Hey we’re not all bastards with 4 kids. That’s Alabama.” That’s when I realized, even the south hates the south. They don’t consider themselves part of that. They’re the good south. So the hate just goes further south. If it’s Oklahoma, they hate Texas or Alabama. Think about it. If you’re in Texas, who else is below you? Mexico! Texas and Arizona hates mexicans. lol. If you’re in Florida, it’s Cuba! Does that keep going? Is Mexico like, yeah we’re Mexican, but at least we’re not Brazil! Those guys are idiots. Except waxing the pubic hair, that was a good idea. If you’re in Argentina, you’re like, Fuck Antartica, man!