I rediscovered an old joke. I’ve been using it again almost word for word. (albeit with a much greater stage presence and confidence.):
I was at quiznos the other day, and this guy in line in front of me goes “Hey. Would you mind if I bought your sandwhich for you?” I was like “uhhh. It’s gonna take more than a sandwhich for that buddy.” He goes “No no no. I just heard about this random acts of kindness thing and I wanted to try it out. The best part is. Now you get to pass it on to somebody else.” I was like “Well. I gotta let you know this is actually Karma coming BACK to me, because, I buy girls drinks all the time and I don’t get ANYTHING back for it.”
Boom. Killer. Done.