My parents just left for the Amazon to help fight poverty in villages and stuff which is great. But part of me is like. You know I live an hour away from you right? If you wanna fight poverty. It’s a shorter drive. I’ll take a straw hut if the rent is cheap enough. I need groceries more than you need a vacation right now.
My parents asked If I wanted to come with them. I didn’t think that would be a good idea. I’m already a sunburn away from being adopted by brad and angelina right now. I’m gonna get down there the kids are gonna hand me a chicken, like “you need this more than we do”. I’m gonna steal an adoption. Brad and Angelina are like “Let’s get the albino one.” I was like how about you just give me the money it would cost to buy my place ticket? A flight from here to Brazil is $1500. That would change my life.
My brother went with them, but he had to pay for his own ticket. So he used this website called Kickstarter.com and asked for donations. People donated over $8,000 for his trip. I’m going to start a page where you can donate money to help pay my rent.
In protest while they’re gone, I’m going to occupy their house.
<- That’s my brother in 2009 in Senegal, Africa. Where villagers gave him a chicken. I wrote a lot more of these jokes back then. They’ve been on the shelf for later dates.