Author: Andrew J Rivers

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Burning the Light

My friend Quincy Jones got diagnosed with incurable mesothelioma and was given a year to live. Faced with a real mortality, he decided all he wanted to do was film a special. He’s DYING....
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The Butterfly Effect

I had a chance to be cool. I was in 9th grade a really hot popular girl asked me to be her boyfriend and I said no because she literally had never talked to...
Trump 2016 Video 0

Trump 2016 Video

It’s hard to work on jokes that you know have a half life. I mean, I hopefully am not telling jokes about looking really young when I’m 40. (and I don’t look as young...
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Celebrity Endorsement

  I got to work the Grand Opening of Spokane Comedy Club with Sarah Colonna who is engaged to Seahawks Punter Jon Ryan. Jon Ryan gives hope that any goofy looking guy who is...
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Facebook Stalking

Thanks for coming here. Maybe you’re here because of a facebook post or you’re just bad at googling things. Maybe you facebook stalked me. or “INVESTIGATED” whatever you want to do to excuse your...
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The Top 3

Gabriel Rutledge: “Be flexible in your definition of success.” I just saw the movie “Nebraska.” (Great movie, btw.) At several points they’re drinking in tiny bars in small towns in Nebraska with karaoke in...
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Feel The Bern?

It’s hard to talk about politics because … I’m an idiot. Without taking sides I just notice everyone calling Bernie Sanders unrealistic. No shit. Every person running for president is promising things that won’t...
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Piggy Bank

My bank asked me if my job offered me direct deposit. I’ve been with the same bank my entire life. This is the first time they’ve asked me that question. This is the first...
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My Porn Audition

I’m sure this post title will bring those comment spam bots out the woodwork. 🙂 When I was in college, I was on a dating website because, well, look at me. One day I...