Andrew J Rivers

Andrew J Rivers

(29 comments, 203 posts)

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Home page: http://andrewjrivers.com

Posts by Andrew J Rivers
MutantModule2TMNT

Possible Landslides Ahead

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1 day ago
by Andrew J Rivers in
I passed a sign today that reminded me of an old joke I wrote last time I passed the sign. I went and looked it up, I had the idea written down but I never really wrote the joke out very well. It made me chuckle. So I re wrote it and it got like [...]
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If my calculations are correct

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1 week ago
by Andrew J Rivers in
I’ve been doing lots of shorter sets in the 10-15 minute range. I’m sooooo comfortable with that set length. It doesn’t feel like any fluff. It’s all pretty original, it’s fun to tell. It’s not stupid road stories. It’s not hooters of montana. It’s just new, fresh, exciting jokes. Not that the other jokes don’t [...]
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Champagne Showers

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1 week ago
by Andrew J Rivers in
For the first time in many years (probably since the first day I’ve had one) my credit card balance is at zero (today). Economic Crisis: Solved. You’re welcome, America. Now I can afford to spray bitches with champagne again. (Again! like I’ve done it before.) Anyway. Just kidding. (mostly. Unless there’s a chick who wants [...]
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A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

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1 week ago
by Andrew J Rivers in
I think rather than try to describe just another day in that really long depressing blog about what I have to go through. I’d share a few of my favorite pictures from over the years. With the story to each one. There’s also a couple important comedy clips down at the bottom. If you can’t [...]
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The not so Depressing blog post

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1 week ago
by Andrew J Rivers in
I guess I should add some jokes to this blog about a comedian. hah. This is so my parents don’t read this and put me in therapy again. “He’s starting to scare us.” The joke in the last post was originally about the taco bell thing at a show and a guy turns around to [...]
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Only Hitler Understands

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1 week ago
by Andrew J Rivers in
I had one of the best weekends of my life financially last week. I promised my dad I would blog more on the road. but the hotel room didn’t have internet. So I’m back in my shack in Kirkland for now. This gig paid more than many shows pay the headliner for me to be [...]
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Hooray Titties

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1 month ago
by Andrew J Rivers in
It’s my birthday today. I’m getting sentimental. (it’s actually now published 2 days after my birthday but I started the blog on my birthday. Then it took forever. Then we went so I figured I’d add more to the crazy story.) About 3 or 4 years ago, I got punched in the face on my [...]
Tyga

My New Favorite Rapper Story

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1 month ago
by Andrew J Rivers in
There’s a rapper named Tyga. He’s not really that good in my opinion. He’s starting to get more popular. He had the new strip club anthem called “rack city” with such wonderful lyrics like “10 10 10 20 on your titties, bitch.” I tend to value substance in the music. I mean its a catchy [...]
prison

Save it for the Show!

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1 month ago
by Andrew J Rivers in
My dad has a radio talk show and sometimes ill tell him a crazy story and he’ll stop me and go “save it for the show. You might say something funny. We could have this conversation or we could have this conversation and I could get paid for it.” The other day I was on [...]
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I Get Around

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1 month ago
by Andrew J Rivers in
I met a girl the other night with underwear that said “I get around”. Which is not good. Right? The fact that I’m there, means it’s true. Not that I’m a terrible looking guy. I’m just nobody’s plan A. Nobody’s like THAT GUY! That has to be it. There can’t be THAT many 22 year [...]
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