Archive for July, 2011

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First day is always the toughest

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5 months ago
by Andrew J Rivers in
I don’t go to the gym that much anymore. I try to run around and get my cardio in at least. Even that is tough sometimes with my road schedule. I had lofty goals joining the gym. I figured if I worked hard enough I would gain some weight and muscle mass, but it never [...]
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The STD scare

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6 months ago
by Andrew J Rivers in
I wanted to re write this story and add some context and end results and more jokes because I can’t think of any new jokes lately. So a while ago. I had an incident. A bump appeared on my balls. I freaked out. No no! Not now. I’m in my prime. This can’t be happening. [...]
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White Kids and Hip Hop

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6 months ago
by Andrew J Rivers in
Yup. More thoughts on this topic. People assume that just because you’re white you shouldn’t be able to relate to anything going on in rap music. That’s stupid. We all watch football and root for Brett Favre even though we can’t relate to throwing a football 50 yards with somewhat pinpoint accuracy. We still wish [...]
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Women Approaching Me, Counter Terrorism and Dick Jokes

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6 months ago
by Andrew J Rivers in
I feel like all of my new potential bits start out the same way. “So I met someone interesting the other day. They said this:” So be it. I’m situationally aware. I pick up on these things. Sometimes girls will approach me after a show. Which is cool. It makes me feel famous until I [...]
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I’m a drug dealer (re-write)

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6 months ago
by Andrew J Rivers in
I never tried this joke on stage but I had some random thoughts pop into my head on how to rewrite it and make it work. So here you go. I like in a house – let me rephrase that – I live in a room in a house I found on craigslist. I stay [...]
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